WHAT A JAM I'M IN!

LORD THANK YOU 
FOR MY TEA, MY JAM AND MY BREAD

THANK YOU FOR THE BUTTER ON CIABBATTA I WILL SPREAD
I WOULD HAVE ASKED FOR EXTRA PATS BUT THOUGHT IT HARDER TO SHED
WHAT I WILL GAIN IN CODDLED EGGS   - TO A DIET DOWNFALL  I’LL BE LED



I AM QUITE UNDER THE WEATHER AND I DON’T JUST MEAN THE RAIN

MY HEART NEEDED CODDLING TO SHAKE AWAY THE PAIN

FOR ONCE AGAIN SO RULED MY HEAD
IGNORING WHAT HEART WANTED

AN OLD LOVE MET AGAIN, AT LAST
BUT YET AGAIN I MUST CAST…


IT IS MUCH TOO LATE YOU SEE
TO TAKE BACK WHAT WAS LOST
I WOULD RATHER BE A PRUNE THAN SOMEONE’S HEARTBREAK BE THE CAUSE

SO I’LL HAVE A BIGGER BREAKFAST THAN CEREAL DROWNED IN MILK
AS MY  LITTLE BIT OF GRIEF NEEDED STILLING LESS IT SPILLS
I HAVE ALWAYS TURNED TO HEFTY BREAKFASTS TO GET ME THROUGH THE DAY
WHEN I EXPECT 
THAT NOW AND THEN
MY MIND WILL LATCH 
ON THE ONE I TURNED AWAY

SO HERE’S TO COFFEE BEAN AND TEA LEAF AND THE PERKY COUNTER GIRL
WHO GLADLY POURED A REFILL WHILE MY EMOTIONS ARE  A-WHIRL
SHE WOULD NOT KNOW AS I’M SO EXPERT AT TRYING NOT TO CRY
I JUST SMILE BACK AND CHIT CHAT AND RAPIDLY BLINK  MY EYE
WHEN SHE LEFT MY TABLE 
I GOT TO WRITING ONCE AGAIN
SCRATCHING ON EVERY SCRAP OF PAPER 
TILL I AM ON THE MEND


I AM BEING OVERLY POSITIVE HERE 
I KNOW IT TAKES FOREVER

FOR ME TO GET TO A PLACE 
WHERE I WON'T THINK OF BUTTER!




P.S. Herewith is my State of Heart, while P-Noy (President Noynoy Aquino) delivers his State of the Nation Address.
I would have gone for tapa (beef) or tocino (pork)and egg except I refuse to equate my sadness over a luckless romance with cured pork backfat or (though delicious and juicy enough when fried right) dried beef. Both are also homey Pinoy breakfasts rather enjoyed with family - a happier state.  
Sadness needs drowning alone, somewhere cozy and quiet with coffee smells and a picture window to stare down the rain, ogle clueless strangers walking by,  and count cars.  I also prefer perky baristas at beck and call, noone asking anything more difficult than coffee, tea or me (er, my name on the cup) preferences.  It was particularly comforting to enjoy warm eggs, steamy hot tea and buttered, strawberry jammed crisp-edged ciabatta after a night spent in someone else's condo unit because heavy rains left me and a great many commuters stranded. I am ok now, if you want to know, except for when I have to pat my heart a few times.  My silver lining is, while my dieting (though not very strict) and walking helped me shed some weight, the heartbreak made me lose a little more. : )

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